Affair Proof Your Marriage

Affair Proof Your Marriage

Prov.9:17-18(NLT) – 17 “Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!”
18 But little do they know that the dead are there. Her guests are in the depths of the grave.

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1Cor.9:27(NLT) – I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

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Prov.9:17-18(NLT) – 17 “Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!”18 But little do they know that the dead are there. Her guests are in the depths of the grave.

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On April 8, 2015- the Associated Press cited these statistics from the Journal of marriage and Family Therapy:

Percent of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional
41 %
Percent of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had
57 %
Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had
54 %
Percent of married men who have strayed at least once during their married lives
22 %
Percent of married women who have strayed at least once during their married lives
14 %
Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker
36 %
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips
35%
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law
17 %
Average length of an affair
2 years
Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered
31 %
Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught
74 %
Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught
68 %
Percent of children who are the product of infidelity
2.5%

· How to Affair Proof Your Marriage

1). Recognize No One Is Immune from Marriage Mess up:

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1 Peter 5:8(NLT) – 8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

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1 Cor. 10:12(NIV) – 12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!

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When we are unfaithful to our spouse we give a false impression of Christ love for his church and we leave our children questioning the validity of any earthly commitment.

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Conviction is not always a hammer to the head; it’s a still, small voice to the heart. Sadly, many confuse God’s patience with His approval.

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2). Remember Disloyalty is Not an Action of the Holy Spirit:

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Rom. 8:35-39(NLT) – Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

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Prov.19:22(NLT) – Loyalty makes a person attractive. It is better to be poor than dishonest.

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Loyalty is a relational term. While one can be faithful to an ideal, a duty, or a vow—one is loyal to a person. In most cases where “faithfulness” is mentioned in the Bible, there is an element of loyalty that is understood to be there. In a general sense, loyalty, faithfulness, and trustworthiness are used interchangeably in both our English speech as well as in the Bible.

Loyalty indicates enduring commitment to a person over a long period of time, often with the implication of the commitment persisting in the face of obstacles that threaten such endurance.

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· God has never led someone to be unfaithful to their spouse.

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3). Restrict Social Media Interaction:

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Gen. 39:1-12(NIV) – Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt. Potiphar, an Egyptian who was one of Pharaoh’s officials, the captain of the guard, bought him from the Ishmaelites who had taken him there.

2 The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. 3 When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, 4 Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. 5 From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the Lord was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field. 6 So Potiphar left everything he had in Joseph’s care; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate.

Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, 7 and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”

8 But he refused. “With me in charge,” he told her, “my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. 9 No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” 10 And though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her.

11 One day he went into the house to attend to his duties, and none of the household servants was inside. 12 She caught him by his cloak and said, “Come to bed with me!” But he left his cloak in her hand and ran out of the house.

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· Joseph blocked/unfriended Potiphar’s wife

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Dr. Steven Kimmons, Loyola University Medical Center, Maywood Illinois-

“One spouse connects online with someone they knew from high school. The person is emotionally available and they start communicating through Facebook. “Within a short amount of time, the sharing of personal stories can lead to a deepened sense of intimacy, which in turn can point the couple in the direction of physical contact.”

An errant spouse may not set out to do wrong. The person may simply be curious about what an old friend or an old flame is doing and decides to say “hello” online. If the errant spouse ends up talking to the old friend more often than their own spouse, “you don’t need a fancy psychological study to conclude that I’m more likely to fall in love with the person I talk to five times a week because I have more contact with that person,” he says.

The beginning of such a relationship may be innocent, but its continuation is not.

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The basic rule of thumb: if you’re spending more time interacting with members of the opposite sex via Facebook than you are interacting with your own spouse, something isn’t right. Something needs to change.

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I smiled as I read a new post from a high school friend. We joked online about the songs we’d loved, the games we’d played and the boys on whom we’d had crushes. Facebook helped us re-establish an old friendship.

Then I noticed on my friend’s page that one of her “friends” was an old boyfriend of mine. I knew that with one click of my mouse I could re-establish communication. Would he be excited to hear from me? Had he thought about me over the years? The idea of reconnecting with him was tempting, but I knew that doing so would break my husband’s heart.

Although Facebook can be fun, it’s not always the best thing for my marriage. When I allow myself to get wrapped up in my online social life, even innocent interactions can divert my time and attention. It’s essential that I guard against distractions so that my husband never has to wonder which “friend” is most important in my life.

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· How to Affair Proof Your Marriage

1). Recognize No One Is Immune from Marriage Mess up:

2). Remember Disloyalty is Not an Action of the Holy Spirit:

3). Restrict Social Media Interaction:

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